I've hit a new low

Today, was an all new low point in my med school career. No one died. No one lost any limbs. No one threw steaming feces at me or vomited all over me. No one reamed me out or made me feel retarded. I, a third year med student, had to suture a 2 y.o's forehead. Lucky me.

I met his mom and got the history from her. I knew this was going to be a doozy. He had a 4cm gash on his forehead. The kid looked at me, frowned and said "I don't like you". Nice. So I had the nurse put on some topical anesthetic (instead of needles for freezing), which he promptly wiped off. Nurse repeated. Wiped off again. Repeat. We put a see-through 'band-aid' on his head and let it marinate for a bit to take effect.

I come back and the kid is freaking! He already hates me and now I have to sew his head together. I took a deep breath and got everything ready while mom played with him. I didn't want to wrap him up in a blanket like a sausage if I didn't have to (kids tend to freak even more if they're essentially paralyzed) so we proceed to get him draped with a sterile field...which he promptly contaminated with his hand. Mom is now on top of the kid, trying to hold his hands and feet down and his head still so I could suture. Kid was a bucking bronco! Took his mom, his grandfather, and a visitor from the next bed (a retired nurse thankfully) to wrap and hold this kid down. Took me 1.5 hours to put 6 stitches in. Meanwhile the kid is pretty much having a panic attack no matter what we do or say, everyone is sweating...including me. I look like I was having a hot flash, red cheeks and all. My preceptor comes in and gives his A-OK (phew!). I asked the mom if she was OK. All she did was laugh and ask me the same. She gave me a big hug afterwards and thanked me for the great job I did. I told her that I had hit an all new low...I hated having him cry and be scared, but I knew that I had to do it. So much for the "I will not cause harm" oath

Kids scare the begeezus out of me. Peds is going to be fun...note the irony.